Stage 1 – Weaving pearls of wisdom to connect with the beautiful baby inside you

pregnant-woman-1512961_640Congratulations! So, you have seen the two pink lines and you are feeling elated, happy, excited, overwhelmed, scared, responsible. You might be experiencing very strong emotions, the reality might not have sunk in as yet. So, now, what do we do next?

I would love to share what I did when I commenced my journey of motherhood. I started talking to my baby, the little human being that had come to me. This might feel weird to a few mothers and very natural to a few other. However, once we are able to shift our mindset, we as human beings rise to a higher level of consciousness.

I read these eloquent lines somewhere on the Internet and these lines resonated with me on a much deeper level since it fully encapsulates our feelings as mothers.

When someone is expecting, she is not “expecting a child” she already has one. She is not “going to be a mother” she already is a mother. The baby is not “on the way” the baby has already arrived.  If we are going to change the way society treats unborn children, “we have to change the way we talk about them”.  

And, let me just add, we will have to shift our perspective on how we perceive unborn children.

My very good friend and the founder our community, Jayprakash Velu (better known as Velu) has spent years researching the origin of the journey of the soul.  He has spoken to Siddha gurus, ayurvedic practitioners, midwives, holistic healers and from years of his dialogues with these noble souls and deep meditation, he has some very delicate and beautiful information to share with us about the journey of a soul.  I wouldn’t want you to shift your beliefs based on your religious opinion, I would instead like to invite you to delve into understanding the journey of the soul and it’s emotional well-being with me so that we can co-learn together.

From Velu’s learnings, “we have come to understand that the soul always comes from a different dimension, from the sky. It travels to the ground, and then enters the soil, later into the father’s food three months before the act of conception. If the conception happens, it enters the body of the mother. In next few days, it is the nature in combination with their karma, that decides to start the process or not.”  

Our ancient scriptures, many alternative education philosophers believe that the soul chooses the life, the soul has chosen you to be his/ her caretaker/ parent/ mother-father.  The child is ours, yes, but the soul belongs to the world and the soul has come to this world with a purpose.

It doesn’t matter which religion we belong to, the soul is at the crux of human life.

With this understanding, we will be ready to stretch our horizon and look beyond the tiny little dot that we might be able to see on the sonography monitor. Now, what you see is the physical form but what a mother experience is a spiritual form, it is the true form. Being true to this understanding, a mother should commence talking to the child in her womb from the start.

“Eat right, eat healthy, take care of yourself” is the advice that you will get from your family, friends, and doctors. Yes, that is very important. But, what we are going to talk about is how do we as mothers nurture a beautiful relationship with our children while building a healthy emotional state for your child.  

WHY? There is an old saying which says “Precaution is better than cure”. In today’s modern times, we are blessed to have many Theta healers, past life regression healers among us. In numerous conversations, these healer friends of mine have pointed to one fact, the fears, the stress, the complexes, the stigma that an adult faces, the root cause of all these problems goes back to their childhood and the journey they had as an unborn child.

“It is easier to build up a CHILD than it is to repair an ADULT”. Choose your words wisely.

In ancient texts, there are numerous references to the unborn child understanding every feeling, every emotion that the mother experiences and also understanding every word that the mother says and hears. Hence, we often hear our adults say be careful of what you say in front of a pregnant woman.

The famous story of Abhimanyu from Indian mythology Mahabharata where Abhimanyu not only learns the art of warfare and archery while in his mother Subhadra’s womb, but also, learns how to break the whirlpool like army formation by listening to his father Arjun’s words is a very good illustration for us to understand that the unborn child is already a person in himself/ herself. Caught in a whirlpool by Devdutt Pattanaik

How should I talk to my child?

Talk to your unborn child with love, respect and gratitude. Give your child the same respect and dignity that you would give to a fellow human being. Talk to your child in a dignified tone that you would use for a person-to-person contact.  

Why should we talk to our unborn children in a respectful tone?

Because it gives our unborn children an affirmation that they are respectable, independent human beings about to come to this world. Isn’t this what we want our children to grow up thinking about themselves?

What should I talk to my child? What should I say?

In my experience, the first thing I feel a parent should do is thank their child as a sign of gratitude for choosing them. The child shares the energetic fields with both the mother and the father and when the father starts to connect/ communicate with the unborn child, father’s affirmations sets the foundation for inviting fathers into the parenthood journey.

A parent can start communicating by saying “thank you for choosing me as your ma and thank you for choosing <<your partner’s name>> as your papa” in their native language.  

The second step would be to welcome the soul to your womb and you can do so by simply saying “Welcome, my child to my womb. Let us start our journey from today.”

As an analogy, let us compare this situation to an adult visiting a friend’s house to live with the friend for six months. How comfortable would you as an adult feel if your friend says these simple words, “Thanks buddy for coming and staying with me, we will surely have a great time”.Wouldn’t it be beautiful for an unborn child to feel honoured? For a moment, just put yourself in the position of your unborn child and experience the joy of your mother welcoming you to her. This joy is what our unborn children need to experience for leading a truly happy life.

It is also important for the mother to start getting prepared for the coming nine months of pregnancy. The mother can also start giving positive affirmations to herself.  Just listed a few illustrations below:

  • I choose to see beauty in the whole process of bringing a new life into the world
  • My body is physically ready to experience these beautiful nine months of pregnancy.
  • My pregnancy will be a happy, healthy and a beautiful journey.

A parent can now simply add a few thoughts of their own to commence this beautiful journey with their child.

These simple messages are very powerful and act as a stepping stone for establishing a lifelong relationship with our unborn children based on mutual respect, trust, transparency, communication and honesty.

By taking this first tiny step, your boat has sailed and we can now let our inner voice guide us from here, for inner voice has no reasoning, it is what we know is the right thing to do. It is our inner voice, it is the absolute truth.

Author: Ishani

Ishani Shah-Verdia is practicing the virtues of respectful and conscious parenting. Based in Udaipur, she is actively unschooling herself by following the natural instinct of her 3 year old daughter, she is offering support to parents in their parenting journey through facilitating parent cafes, interactive parent-child sessions, listening circles. She is also a traveller and a storyteller.

Garbhini Paricharya – The Ancient Art Conceiving, Pregnancy and Post Delivery – 2 of 3


The journey of the man begins in the womb of the mother. The pregnancy is a life changing event for both the mother and child and it leaves a huge impact for rest of their lives. Garbini or pregnant lady is said to be carrying two lives in one body. As this tiny new human body starts growing inside the womb it depends entirely on the mother for its nourishment. Ayurveda says that the purusha or human body grow from the ahara rasa or the food. So the food and actions of the mother should be in such a way that it caters to the need of mothers well being  and the growth and development of the foetus.

Continue reading “Garbhini Paricharya – The Ancient Art Conceiving, Pregnancy and Post Delivery – 2 of 3”

Garbhini Paricharya – The Ancient Art Conceiving, Pregnancy and Post Delivery – 1 of 3


Though our holistic whatsapp group consist of majority of parents, we do have yet-to-be parents also in our group. We do often get requests in our group and in private chat, asking about the preparations for a holistic conception. This blog is dedicated to those couples, and for existing parents who are planning for next conception. We will cover the pregnancy and post delivery later.

Garbhadhana as mentioned in ancient Indian texts means gifting the womb or attaining the wealth of womb. It is more of a spiritual act designed in a scientific manner and calculated the best way to produce a healthy, intellectual, beautiful offspring with a long life and best progeny. It was considered as a duty of the married couple to bring into this world such spiritually aware children who are beneficial to parents as well as society.

The garbhadhana is the science by which a human population of civilized, cultured, brilliant disease free offspring with physical strength and other qualities like humanity, sincerity, compassion, spirituality, loyalty, courage that could be generated. The man places his seed in woman to conceive virtuous children. This was practiced as a ceremony – the garbhadhana samskara mostly as private rite of passage. It is one of the sixteen samskaras which are carried out as rituals and regimen representing the symbolic change in the life of individual. Garbha Samskara is made of two words Garbha and Samskara.

Garbha means fetus and Samskara means to replace bad qualities by good ones. It is proposed to impart changes at physical, mental, spiritual and emotional level in the developing embryo.

Susruta says the child born by Garbhadhana samskara will be physically fit, have attractive features and long life and capable of repaying the debts born by the father and helpful to father. The progeny with bad character even if born in high family destroys the reputation of whole family. The method of Garbhadhan samskar for a worth full child, endow future generations with good health, noble quality, high intelligence and improve the innate quality of mankind.

Pre-conceptional care in Ayurveda

Dos rayitas

In the ancient days, the selection of partners was done using their birth chart, clan, age and maturity of the all Chatus (seven body tissues). They do this to make sure their offspring is free from diseases.

Pre-conceptional care comprises of certain rituals and regime with do’s and dont’s that are to be followed strictly by the father to be & mother. All efforts are taken to provide the best environment for the foetal development.

There are several factors involved in this process including diet & appropriate activities and raising the level of spiritual consciousness. The powerful intention for a baby from both the parents attracts the soul to enter the womb.

Just as healthy plant needs appropriate season, good soil, water, good quality seeds to grow there are four major factors in the couples that makes the conception possible and essentially determine the nature and growth of child. If these four necessities are not fulfilled properly, it may lead to infertility or complications during pregnancy.

Four essential folds for getting Pregnant mentioned by Acharya Sushruta:

  1. Rutu (Cycle) Shuddhi
    The biological clock of the body is related with the reproductive system.The inharmony of the biological cycle leads to many disorders of the reproductive cycle and becomes major concern of infertility. Before conceiving any reasons for infertility (Menstrual cycle disorders, PCOD, Hypothyroidism, Oligospermia in males or any other sexdysfunction) should be corrected and managed
  2. Kshetra Shuddhi
    As a healthy seed needs a fertile soil to grow, a healthy foetus needs a healthy womb to get implanted. The body and mind of the mother needs to be wholesome and purified. The garbhashaya or the womb (Uterus, Ovaries, Vagina) must be purified and healthy ready to receive the baby
  3. Ambu- Nutritional Mechanism
    Before conception the nutritional status of the mother should be ensured. Any metabolic or nutritional disorder for eg anaemia that might affect the baby’s development should be corrected. The nutritional mechanism should be purified so as to fulfill the needs of baby during the nine months of pregnancy
  4. Bija Shudhi
    It is the purification of male and female gametes (sperm and ovum). Garbhanda samskara is said to have its effect on the genetic type of foetus. Prevention of hereditary disorders and congenital anomalies is be achieved along with happy and healthy children by this method.

Baby Love

Before conception, the couple is advised to perform a personalized purification and rejuvenation to product an optimal quantity and quality of ovum and sperm. This process is performed at least six month ahead of conception. The doshas are brought to normalcy and body and mind are well prepared for conception by panchakarma and the following methods:

  1. Panchakarma(Detoxification)
    As a first step the couples undergo detoxifying therapy the panchakarma like vamana virechana basti and uttaravasti to remove the vitialted doshas and any reason for illness
  2. Vajeekarna
    Charaka mentions rejuvenation regime before conception called vajeekarnam for ensuring happy and healthy progeny. The ancient text Charaka Samhita explains- “The aim of vajikaranam is to enable a couple to produce healthy progeny who can assist them to perform their life’s mission (dharma).”
    After the panchakarma many formulations such as different medicated ghee are given to male and female to improve their fertility. Men are given medicated ghee and milk preparations. Herbs such as Aswagandha, Kapikachu are generally advised. Women are given preparation of sesame seeds and black gram to enhance ovulation and proper implantation of foetus
  3. Sattvic diet
    The diet should be essentially satvik which is rich in calcium, magnesium, folic acid, B12. Oily, Spicy and processed should be avoided as much as possible. General reproductive foods include Desi milk, Urad dhal, Mung dhal, Honey, Dates, Almonds. Man should take food more with ghee and milk and women should use sesame oil more in her diet
  4. Putreshtiyagna
    Pujas and homam are performed for getting rid of the complications during pregnancy or problems in conceiving. Couple who wish to beget a healthy and intelligent child can perform homas like purusha sukta homam and santhanagopala homam dedicated to lord Mahavishnu and Gopala Krishna.
    Those who are expecting can also perform these puja for healthy and intelligent children and those with children perform it for all round progress and benefit of children. Putra kameshti yagna is mentioned in Ramayana. King Dasaratha performed this yagna to begot his sons
  5. Celibacy
    Celibacy of 3 months is suggested before conception especially during the first three days of menstruation. It’s followed to ensure the best quality of male and female gametes. (shukra and rajah). Ayurveda says children conceived during menstruation will have less longevity and deformities such as blindness, deafness, skin diseases and many more consequences even intrauterine death of foetus
  6. Regimen during menstruation
    During her menstruation the lady should observe the Rajaswala paricharya regimen prescribed strictly. All her activities are essentially reduced to provide maximum rest and allow the body to empty and renew itself. She should not indulge in any fatiguing work or exercise. During this period body and mind will be very fragile and this time should be utilized to take rest with least degree of interference physically and mentally. She should not indulge in loud and excessive noise nor hear loud noises. Quick warm showers are advised as the appropriate means of body cleansing. Day sleep and intercourse are straitly avoided. Food should be easily digestible, not too heavy and oily, nor too dry and cold
  7. Best period for conception
    The best period for conception is ritukala that is 12 days from 4th day of menstruation. Selected days for coitus, odd days for achieving female progeny and even days for male progeny (except 11th day and 13th day) are to be considered. The good date for conception is fixed through astrology. Swaathi or Kettai or Chathayam Nakshatra is best for period for conception, provided the couple’s birthday is not on these days. One of the sex selection methods adopted for achieving desired sex of fetus as in Shettles method is days of performing intercourse.
  8. Rituals and hymn during coitus
    Bathed and dressed in fresh white clothes the couples applied with essential oils and flower garland should do the prayers. Following hymn from charaka samhita can be recited in unison to achieve diving blessings from Brahma, Vishnu, Soma and Surya to procure a courageous son.

Aum ahirasi ayurasi sarvata pratishthasi dhaata tvam,dadhaatu vidhaata tvam, dadhatu bramhavarcasa bhava,Brahama brhaspatir vishnu soma surya tatha asvinau, Bhagotha mitra varunau veeram daddaatu me sutaam

This is translated as “O creator and the cosmic truth! Please bless us with a courageous/strong child with a long life and health, with the qualities of Brahma (power to create), Brhaspati (power to alter the future), Vishnu (power to maintain), Soma (power to flourish), Surya (power to be succeed), Mitra (power to love) and Varuna (power to nurture)”.

Observance of all these methods before conception ensure having a good quality sperm and ovum and emotionally and physically healthy child
In Sushruta Samhita 2/46/50 it is said:

Aahaar-aachaara-cheshtaabhir-yaadrisobhih samanvitee |
Stree-pumso samupeyaatam tayoh puthro-api taadrisah ||

In conclusion, diet, temperament and behavior, of the man and woman at the time of physical intimacy, the baby born of such a union will also have a similar temperament. If the couple are not in a state of mental stability and calmness, even if they are physically fit, they cannot give birth to a healthy child. In the end, the objective of practicing a holistic planned approach is to attract a higher soul in a healthy body so that they are blessed with good, virtuous next generous children’s.

In continuation of this I will share some thoughts on pregnancy till delivery and post delivery.